Protect the Sparkle

As a speech-language pathologist with over 30 years of experience, I've worked with countless children and families through my practice, Confident Communication, and offered parent coaching through Luminous Parenting. I'm also a mom to two grown sons, ages 25 and 18. Through all of this—the professional work and the deeply personal journey of parenthood—I've discovered something profound about what children really need to thrive.

“Protect the Sparkle”. 

Today I read this line in a post, and it struck me deeply – It’s something I come back to again and again – both in my work and in my own life.

Every child has a light. Everyone has a light!
Sometimes it shines brightly. Sometimes it flickers. And sometimes, when the world feels overwhelming or unsafe, it hides.

People often tell me, "You're so good with kids! You're a kid whisperer!" I used to brush this off, thinking it wasn't anything special. But you know what? It is special—and here's the beautiful truth: we all have this capacity within us. We all have the ability to see and nurture the light in children and in ourselves.

What Does It Mean to "See the Sparkle"?

When I'm with a child or parent, I am truly with them. It's as if I enter a shared space for those moments, completely focused on them and what's happening right now. I listen with my eyes, my mind, and my heart, trying to feel what they might be experiencing.

With every child, I look for their unique light—what makes them special, what they love, what makes them feel safe, comfortable, happy, and amazing.

The Reality Many Children Face

Many of the children I work with experience fear, frustration, and self-doubt. They may feel self-conscious about not talking or learning like other kids. Sometimes they appear reserved, quiet, distracted, or withdrawn. In those moments, they're not letting their light shine—because they don't feel safe enough to do so.

And this is completely normal. Children need to discover and feel safety before they can truly be themselves.

Three Essential Steps to Connect and Protect the Sparkle

Here is how I connect with kids and help build their confidence.

1. Create a Space of Safety

My first role is to create an environment where children can feel:

♥    Safe to be vulnerable

♥    Secure in who they are

♥    Soothed when they're struggling

♥    Seen for who they are—not who they "should" be

This happens naturally when we're fully present with a child, without agenda or expectation. I didn't even realize I was doing this consciously at first—it became second nature in my work, though I'll admit it's been harder at times as a parent, especially with my own children and with kids facing complex challenges.  This process of building attachment is beautifully described in Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson's book The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired.

2. Look Beneath the Surface

The second essential practice is seeking to truly understand the child.  As Mona Delahooke describes in her book Beyond Behaviors, I look at the “iceberg” beneath the surface of their behavior to consider what other needs might not be met:

♥    Physical needs

♥    Emotional needs

♥    Safety and security

♥    Sensory needs

♥    History and trauma

♥    Family environment

♥    Other…

I try to do this without judgment – without judgement of the child and without judgement of the parent.  We all have a story, and each child I work with has their own story that impacts and shapes their development and how they interact with the world around them.

3. Give Children a Feeling of Power

Through compassion and gentle guidance, we begin the journey toward increased confidence. By creating communication opportunities where children can succeed, we slowly build their willingness to try—to imitate, to make mistakes, and to know it's okay.

Baby steps matter. We’re creating a space of safety, fun, and empowerment.

Communication is power.

I celebrate, with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, each moment of trying, of making mistakes, of sharing, of being vulnerable and feeling safe enough to do so.

The Transformation

Soon, I begin to hear from parents:

"My child is talking more"

"My child is less frustrated"

"My child is happier"

"My child has a bounce in their step"

From educators:

"This child is participating in group activities"

"The child is asking for what they want"

"The child is using phrases to help themselves calm down"

"The child is letting themselves be silly, making people laugh, trying to tell jokes"

And there it is—the sparkle returning ✨.  And confidence begins to blossom 💕.

Your Invitation

This ability to see and protect the sparkle in children isn't reserved for professionals. It lives in all of us. When we create spaces where children feel safe to be exactly who they are, when we look beneath behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment, and when we empower them through small successes—we help their light shine.

Don't let anyone dim your light. And don't let anyone dim the light of children.

See their sparkle. Protect their sparkle. And watch them shine.